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I Had No Idea What Life Was About
By Pat Campbell
When I was a young child, my parents often talked about me when I was in the same room, just as though I wasn't even there. They would often remark, "I don't know what will become of Pat. She has no personality." Well tell me, how can a person not have a personality? Everyone has one, be it good, bad or indifferent! To say that one has no personality implies that they don't exist! And that was how I felt through my childhood years and even beyond ... non existent. I literally did not know who or what I was! I spent a great deal of my life looking for an identity (ego)! By the time I did find it, I had acquired sufficient spiritual wisdom to know that I had to let it go! But if I had not found my identity first, I would not have been able to experience the peace and contentment that comes with giving it up! I had no idea how to be a human being. It seems to me that most people are born with some concept of how a human being should behave; even very young children that I have observed (including my own children and grandchildren) have some reactions that are not consciously thought of first. But I did not seem to possess that innate knowledge! I used to watch how people acted and copy what they said and so I was not being "me", just a carbon copy of others. The world was so confusing and surreal to me. I was not stupid by any means; in fact I have an IQ that puts me in the top 0.5% of the population! But I think my EQ would have been close to zero! Whether I developed a high IQ to compensate for my deficiencies or whether it developed in spite of them, I have no idea. But although EQ is more important that IQ, I feel that without a high level of intelligence I may have had trouble understanding much of the spiritual wisdom that I have been blessed to receive. I do feel very blessed to have been able to eventually find my way out of the maze that I existed in for much of my life. If you would like some help finding your way out of your own maze, please visit my websites! |
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